Living in a cave...

And starting to emerge into the light

I pretty much quit posting anything at all online, but it’s not because I don’t want to be sharing. This isn’t a rant about any sort of algorithm or doom scrolling or hateful comments (though of course they happen). 

It’s an observation that until now, I haven’t been fully ready to share since finishing chemotherapy at the end of 2022. 

After diagnosis in July 2022, I went into full survival mode as I needed to, to get through such a life-changing situation. 

Only now do I feel I am just starting to emerge from the dark cave I’ve been in. And by the way, there is nothing wrong with a dark cave… it’s safe and reassuring. 

But it’s also very limiting and after a while, boring. 

It’s a place where there is no risk and therefore no life

It’s a place where there is a protective wall around your heart 

It’s a place where the light can’t reach

A place to calm your activated nervous system

It’s also  a place where immense growth happens

A bit like a cocoon 

I am not emerging as a butterfly but as my true self. 

Going through cancer has been a journey back to who I truly am. A huge powerful mirror has been held up to me and I know I have so much more to give.  When I had those few days when I genuinely didn’t know if my life was ending much sooner than I’d thought; it was a gift. 

A gift of a total change of perspective.